I was only 13 the first time I really prayed.
Back when I was a kid the days seemed so long, I never knew, nor cared to know, what time or day it was. All I wanted to do was play. We got lost in time playing hide n’ seek or ringing our neighbor’s doorbells. We played outside all day -generation X, best ever! I remember my barbie dolls, mud puddles, street soccer (being from Brasil and all), and homemade popsicles, not a worry in the world.
As street lights began to flicker, mom's voice carried down the street. Dinner was ready.
Reality hits... homework, shower, brussel sprouts and bed. Least favorite being sleep time. Nothing said “party is over” louder than going to bed. - definitely not how I feel now after having 2 kids!- but back then it was no fun. Lights out, it didn't take long until I drifted off to sleep, tired anyone? Alarm was always set for 6.
One particular night was short. Waking to unfamiliar commotion in the house, I heard dad rushing out the door while mom laid in bed awake. I tried to gather enough strength to ask what was happening, and when I finally got up she said to me: “I just don’t think grandma is going to make it”.
Although I grew up catholic, well, I went to church on Sundays, we didn’t talk much about God and we never really prayed together, but yet none of us ever doubted His existence and power. I don’t really know how I learned about God besides attending CCD classes and having long conversations with my aunt, a devout Catholic, but I believed.
That night my faith was shaken. I didn’t want grandma to die. Laying back in bed, I started to pray. My faith was put to the test as I was faced with the biggest prayer request of my younger years. I prayed morning would unfold with good news and dad would be home from the hospital saying she was still alive and well. I didn’t think this was possible, but God said no.
I wished I knew the Lord better to understand all His ways, but at that moment, my faith was enough. I asked no questions. Although God didn’t grant me my request, I found no room in my heart to doubt, hate, or complain. I simply knew it was His will. Is it always that easy to accept it when things go wrong? Absolutely not! There are times in my adult life I have asked and He said no, but for some reason, it is a lot harder to accept it now than it was at 13.
I truly believe God does not want us to doubt, He wants us to have faith like a child, He wants us to put our trust in Him EVEN when we think things go wrong and we don’t get our way. The Bible says His ways are not our ways, His thoughts are not our thoughts. He is so much bigger, so much higher than we are. We only see a little bit of the whole picture, if any at all. He is the one with the planner in His hands, mapping out our future and guiding our steps, we must only believe.
In Corinthians 12:7-10 God very clearly said no to Paul. “My grace is sufficient for you”, God said. This does not mean God stopped loving him or taking care of him. The Bible says Christ's power is perfected in weakness. It’s amazing the strength I feel when faced with a trial. When I am in need and I simply cry out to Him, I feel like I soar right through the difficulties with ease. Sounds crazy, I know. But if you haven’t felt what it feels like to be carried by Him, I encourage you to reach out to Him in your own trial and see for yourself what God can do. He loves to give and do great things for us, that is fact. I don’t understand everything God does, why He does it and when, but I have learned this - No matter what happens, He will be there with me and that’s all I need to know. Either way I can’t lose, because with God, it’s always a win win situation. He is there when I call, He picks me up when I fall, He comforts me when I’m sad, He rejoices when I sing. He never leaves. He never sleeps.
"Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God” Psalm 42:5
May your faith be strengthened and your prayers answered, but if He says no... simply trust. (I really think He says yes a lot more than no though. smile)
Lord, I pray for those that are reading this right now and are faced with a trial, maybe you’ve had to say no to them. You always know best. Please teach us to trust like a child, and know that either way, with you all things are possible. Help us to never doubt that you, the God who opened the red sea, are still the same God who not only is able, but is also willing to do amazing things in our lives.
Hi, I'm Debora. A lover of Jesus, a wife, and a mother of 2.
Your faith has made you whole
Nothing is impossible for those who believe